I Said What I Said!

May 24, 2021nsiahbuadi.com

How many times have you said that to yourself – in your head — or to your friends with all the confidence of a prize boxer? I already know the answer. LOTS. I can see it now. You’re sticking your chest out while emphasizing each verb with a nod of your head; “I SAID what I SAID!’ much to the delight of your audience.

I’m well known for my one-liners – among my family and friends at least. A friend sent me a t-shirt, with the aforementioned phrase. In public, I keep those comments to myself, verbally at least. I don’t feel inclined or even safe enough to introduce the world to my inner 12-year-old kid, after all, I’m supposed to be a smart professional. I can’t be snickering at all the things or spilling tea all over the place. Plus there are the years of home training, where the idea that my behavior was a direct reflection on my parent’s life choices, was drilled into me.

Given how opinionated I was as a child, and that I was cursed blessed with a highly expressive face, that made for a very interesting childhood. Mum took no chances with me and I was often reminded not ‘open your okro mouth’ just before a visit to an aunt’s house. 

I’m still confused about what I COULD have said, I never got to hear any good stuff.

Just a quick pause for those of you who don’t know what Okro is. It’s the vegetable with the slimy innards that American’s call Okra. They often grill or fry it, which often eliminates the slime. In Ghana, we bring out texture by letting it simmer with smoked fish in a delicious stew. Those slippery concoctions stressed me out as a kid; I spent more time worrying about how to keep it on my banku long enough to get it into my mouth. It was an ordeal, y’all.

But I digress. You get the point. Okro=Slimy=You let things slip outta your mouth. I’d be accused of having one when looking back, I was – and still am the ‘Queen of Saying Nothing.’ 

This is why when I came across a show, called (you’ve guessed it) ‘I Said What I Said,’ my mind was blown. Hosted by two Nigerian millennial women, FK and Jollz, they spill the tea and okro stew on everything; the Nigerian economy, Brazilian Butt Lifts (and yes, I had to google that,) snitching, you name it. They spent the best part of 10 minutes roasting their engineer for wearing yellow shoes. The roast was so jam-packed with details, I could see the poor man’s shoes. Then when they finished with him, they roasted their listeners for not liking and subscribing. 

Nothing is out of bounds – not even themselves. They’ve shared their relationship woes and even admitted to the times they’ve manipulated family members to get what they want.

I oscillate between loving the show and being scared that their mothers will shout at them for airing their dirty laundry. And I love it!  Check them out, I don’t think you’ll regret it. And if you like it, tell ‘em The Cipher sent you!

Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

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